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This game is about coordinating a raid in an MMO you've never played

47 heroes to fight a boss
(Image credit: CannibalInteractive)
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Update: It's back on sale! As this game's creator explained on Twitter (opens in new tab), what started as a joke about false scarcity became an example of it. It's $2 and available on itch.io (opens in new tab).

Original story: You'll have to forgive me for leaving the name of this game about coordinating a raid in an MMO you've never played before out of the headline. I had to, because the name of the game is My Older Sister Left The Computer So I Got On And Found Myself Trying To Coordinate A Raid In A Game And I Don't Play MMO's (opens in new tab).

It's a real game, yes. I fire it up and within seconds have control of 47 fantasy heroes who are all level 70, and yet not one of the chumps understands the raid mechanics for the boss fight they're in. They rely on me to set their formation and choose which abilities they use—everyone has completely different skills—after which I cross my fingers while a JRPG-style combat plays out. 

We're fighting Valear the Non-Extant, some kind of wispy undead plant thing, and all the abilities have impenetrable fantasy-ass names like Runic Prayer and Astral Carnival and vague descriptions that say this one "Inflicts a state on the target" or "Grants a status to the target". The only way to find out what they do is trial-and-error.

This stress simulator, which is as much an actual nightmare you might have as it is a game you can play. was made for the Games that Shouldn't Be Games Jam 2021 (opens in new tab). It's the work/fault of CannibalInteractive, who has a history of things like this, with previous games including It's Six Random Characters and a Single Floor Dungeon, That's the Whole Game (opens in new tab) and I Have Low Stats But My Class Is "Leader", So I Recruited Everyone I Know To Fight The Dark Lord (opens in new tab).

The other thing to know about My Older Sister Left etcetera is that it's only available on April Fool's Day. From midnight Pacific Daylight Time you won't be able to pay for it on the itch.io store (opens in new tab), though it will apparently return for 24 hours on subsequent April Fool's, "but the price will increase each time."

Now if you'll forgive me I have to go figure out what Numbing Clots does, and how I get rid of this Dark Vitals status that I'm pretty sure prevents me from seeing what effects statuses have.

Jody's first computer was a Commodore 64, so he remembers having to use a code wheel to play Pool of Radiance. A former music journalist who interviewed everyone from Giorgio Moroder to Trent Reznor, Jody also co-hosted Australia's first radio show about videogames, Zed Games. He's written for Rock Paper Shotgun, The Big Issue, GamesRadar, Zam, Glixel, and Playboy.com, whose cheques with the bunny logo made for fun conversations at the bank. Jody's first article for PC Gamer was published in 2015, he edited PC Gamer Indie from 2017 to 2018, and actually did play every Warhammer videogame.