The Witcher is getting an official cookbook, and it is not an April Fool's joke

Lambert's Dumplings
(Image credit: Witcher Kitchen)

Today is April 1—that wonderful day of the year in which game makers conjure up silly "jokes" to amuse or annoy us, depending on how you feel about these things. It's a tough day for game journalists, because while some April Fools are obvious, others are more subtle, and we don't want to make ourselves look silly by reporting on a gag as if it was real.

But I double-checked with CD Projekt, and this one is no joke: The Witcher Cookbook, "an official guide to the food of the continent," is a collection of 80 recipes inspired by the games that's coming out in October.

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"These dishes celebrate local and seasonal ingredients while adding unique twists that form a culinary map of the Continent and beyond," the preorder page says. "Warm up over a bowl of fragrant stew or juicy baked fruit from the namesake trees of White Orchard; end a hard journey to Velen with a hearty, rustic meal at the local tavern; enjoy an aromatic snack as you stroll the markets of Oxenfurt; sample dishes from near and far in the diverse port city of Novigrad; dine on freshly-caught fish and mulled drinks on the islands of Skellige; feast on rich dishes in the sun-drenched climates of Toussaint and Beauclair; or forage on the perilous road to Kaer Morhen to learn the edible secrets of the witcher’s keep."

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The book—which, again, is real—is being authored by Anita Sarna and Karolina Krupecka, who run the Nerds Kitchen and Witcher Kitchen websites. And yes, the Witcher Kitchen, featuring "recipes inspired by the Witcher games and books," is also real, and has some pretty great-looking grub—although I'm not quite sure what to make of the Elf and Onion Soup recipe. It does include one of Geralt's most perfectly in-character quotes from The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings, though:

Geralt: What's in the pot?
Troll: Soup - elf and onion. Gooood. Want try?
Geralt: I don't really care for onions.
Troll: Stupid witsha. Elf good taste with onions...Tomato like.

Elf and Onion Soup - Did you think I was kidding? (Image credit: Witcher Kitchen)

(You can apparently substitute beef for elf meat if that's more to your taste.)

The Witcher Cookbook will be available in a hardcover edition for $35, or you can opt for the Kindle version from Amazon for $15. It's set to come out on October 25. And if what you really have a taste for is April Fools' jokes, be sure not to miss our roundup of the best videogame gags of 2022


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Andy Chalk

Andy has been gaming on PCs from the very beginning, starting as a youngster with text adventures and primitive action games on a cassette-based TRS80. From there he graduated to the glory days of Sierra Online adventures and Microprose sims, ran a local BBS, learned how to build PCs, and developed a longstanding love of RPGs, immersive sims, and shooters. He began writing videogame news in 2007 for The Escapist and somehow managed to avoid getting fired until 2014, when he joined the storied ranks of PC Gamer. He covers all aspects of the industry, from new game announcements and patch notes to legal disputes, Twitch beefs, esports, and Henry Cavill. Lots of Henry Cavill.