The Best NPC Barks of the Year 2012: Dishonored

One question above all others has dominated PC gaming this year. What in the name of smooth Jazz happened in Dunwall last night? It must have been astonishing, because every single guard in Dunwall is probably getting his own squad.

Did the entire guard populate undergo a singular, simultaneous act of cellular mitosis, splitting like dapper single cell organisms into identical duplicates in need of sudden leadership? Did the rat king emerge into the moonlight to be slain by the collective heroics of the entire city watch - an act of bravery so impressive that none of those involved could fail to be promoted? Or did Arkane, when setting the frequency of each bark, accidentally switch this one from "occasional" to "all the damn time forever."

Dishonored certainly isn't the only contender in this category. Over the course of 2012 soundbites have lodged themselves in the folds of our brains like audio shrapnel, playing on a loop and disrupting everyday conversation. Here's a conversation made up of a few of those quotes. if two NPCs from 2012 were to have a witter, it might go something like this. Can you guess the game each phrase came from?

NPC 1: Think you'll get your own squad after what happened last night?

NPC 2: Should've used a rubber.

NPC 1: Indeed, I believe so. Should we gather for whiskey and cigars tonight?

NPC 2: Oh fuck, a leopard!

NPC 1: Probably just rats.


NPC 1: Shake it off!

NPC 2 : We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!XX

Answers here, highlight to reveal: Dishonored, Far Cry 3, Dishonored, Far Cry 3, Dishonored, Chivalry, Guild Wars 2, XCOM

Tom Senior

Part of the UK team, Tom was with PC Gamer at the very beginning of the website's launch—first as a news writer, and then as online editor until his departure in 2020. His specialties are strategy games, action RPGs, hack ‘n slash games, digital card games… basically anything that he can fit on a hard drive. His final boss form is Deckard Cain.