Game of Checkers, Part 7: a tiny drama in CK2's Game of Thrones mod

Mercs and Jerks

I don’t even know why I'm being invaded this time. Coldwater Burn doesn’t have a claim, as far as I know. Lord Branston even has a positive opinion of me. Maybe he’s just as confused as I am by all of this and is just attacking the closest target. Well, time to take out another loan and hire some mercs, since I only have 81 soldiers in Wycliffe, and the few I can raise from Midlor Point and Sunset Keep would have to march through hostile country to get here. I’m so troubled by this new war I immediately become pregnant again.


With the help of my sellswords, I chase the Coldwater troops out of Pebble and then Wycliffe. I briefly consider sacking Coldwater Burn itself, but even with the mercs I’m not sure I’ll have enough soldiers to manage it. Besides, despite being a jerk, Branston has a lot of allies. I watch his soldiers rush over to Bite Coast, then disband my levies, dismiss my mercs, and hope Branston doesn’t decide to come back.

Now an army from The Sisters islands is heading my way, though they're only 160 strong. I hire 345 Dornish Spearmen to stand behind my 49 men and look menacing. The Sisters army comically turns and begins marching in the opposite direction. Even when they team up with Branston’s men, I still outnumber them.

It’s been months of me paying a bunch of mercs to stand in Wycliffe like some really expensive bouncers. Crab’s Shore is now fighting The Sisters Army in Coldwater Burn. When they defeat them, they move to Bite Coast, drop off a small detachment to sack it, then storm into Wycliffe, 715 of them. Flush with new tax money, I hurriedly hire more mercs. The fighting begins again.

Daisy turns 30 and gives birth to a daughter, Nondonna. There’s been nonstop war for 15 years. And it's not anywhere close to ending.

Continue to Part 8.

Christopher Livingston
Staff Writer

Chris started playing PC games in the 1980s, started writing about them in the early 2000s, and (finally) started getting paid to write about them in the late 2000s. Following a few years as a regular freelancer, PC Gamer hired him in 2014, probably so he'd stop emailing them asking for more work. Chris has a love-hate relationship with survival games and an unhealthy fascination with the inner lives of NPCs. He's also a fan of offbeat simulation games, mods, and ignoring storylines in RPGs so he can make up his own.