To avoid a ban, this MMO troll was forced to write a 500-word essay

When the mods of Black Desert Online caught Kimochi griefing a group of roleplayers, no one would've blamed them for banning him. But where most mods wouldn't think twice about kicking out someone who had violated the rules, the mods of Black Desert Online believe in rehabilitation. If Kimochi was going to continue playing Black Desert Online, he was going to have to become the very thing he hated.

"I was killing everyone I saw," Kimochi confessed to me. "It's not something that people in Black Desert are really accustomed to because the penalties [for killing innocents] are really harsh."

Black Desert Online allows players to kill one another wantonly but at a great cost to the attacker. A karma system heavily penalizes murdering innocent players, eventually marking the guilty as fair game for everyone else to kill without punishment. City guards will also chase you off, severely limiting the ways you can play without grinding your karma back up to a positive value.

That system is meant to curb the murderous tendencies of trolls, but it didn't quell Kimochi's bloodlust. During his repeated killing sprees specifically targeting roleplayers, he would also spam the chat with "Death to RPers!" It only makes sense that eventually he drew the ire of Black Desert's moderators.

"As deity responsible for protecting those who dwell [here], it is my duty to take action and ensure their peace and safety," wrote lead gamemaster Rhotaaz in a message to Kimochi. The email then went on to accuse Kimochi of griefing and spamming, stating that in 24 hours his account would be banned. That is unless he gave into his "heart's true desire" and participated in the roleplaying he so obviously detested. In order to skirt the ban, Kimochi would need to write a 501 word (yes, exactly 501 words) backstory of his female ranger on the roleplaying forums.

So what does Kimochi do? Write some pretty uncomfortable erotic fanfic, of course. Kimochi's backstory was so explicit it was quickly deleted by the moderators, so Kimochi went to Reddit with his story in hopes that getting the public involved would at least guarantee some transparency from the mods. After reading the backstory on Reddit, I'm not surprised the forum thread was deleted. Here's a quick excerpt:

"'Escape!' she thought to herself frantically. But it was too late. She counted them, seven, eight, nine... their numbers too many to determine at a glance. Her fear shifted to debilitating hopelessness in an instant upon realizing her fate was sealed. The largest of the cyclopes reached down gripping her waist with one giant, brutish hand. He lifted her off her feet. The cyclops accessed every inch of her naked body as if a beast preparing to devour her. Its gruesome eye lingered at her supple breasts, but then lowered. His insatiable gaze yielded for a moment, replaced with temporary confusion. Where Kimochi's womanhood should be, something additional was present. Tiny at this current moment due to her fear, but quite discernible nonetheless."

You can read the rest of it here (and yes, it's exactly 501 words). I asked Kimochi where he could come up with such a warped story and he said "I'm not even sure—probably just excessive amounts of anime."


As salacious as Kimochi's essay was, the mods were true to their word. "Despite the contentious nature, the Pantheon has acknowledged that the terms of the challenge have been met," Rhotaaz wrote on Reddit.

Even this was all an elaborate joke, Kimochi wasn't about to take that risk. "I think I would've gotten banned," he said. "The Black Desert Online admins are protective of this kind of thing, they try to make sure Black Desert Online is a really safe environment for people to play in. I get that."

I asked Kimochi if this experimental rehabilitation has had any impact on his behavior in game. "Am I going to keep spamming the chat? No," he said. "Am I going to keep killing RPers? Absolutely."

It was a good effort, anyway.

Steven Messner

With over 7 years of experience with in-depth feature reporting, Steven's mission is to chronicle the fascinating ways that games intersect our lives. Whether it's colossal in-game wars in an MMO, or long-haul truckers who turn to games to protect them from the loneliness of the open road, Steven tries to unearth PC gaming's greatest untold stories. His love of PC gaming started extremely early. Without money to spend, he spent an entire day watching the progress bar on a 25mb download of the Heroes of Might and Magic 2 demo that he then played for at least a hundred hours. It was a good demo.