It's nice to be reminded that videogames aren't all about the latest shiny AAA snoozefest, but can slot into our lives in fleeting and funny ways. Such is Checkbox Olympics, a browser game that was probably built for a laugh but turns out as a weirdly perfect fit for passing around your colleagues.
Take me, a bitter old man with a lifetime's experience at clicking things. My wizened fingers managed 11.224 seconds in the 100 metre sprint, and I challenged my colleagues to beat it. Joshua Wolens, with his limber digits and all the advantages of youth, managed a risible 15.637 seconds. "But I am handicapped by a trackpad, that's my excuse," writes Josh. There are no excuses in the Checkbox Olympics my friend. "This is why my elite Starcraft career never took off," he laments, before going off to console himself with lunch.
Mollie Taylor manages just over 12 seconds. Nice try, but no cigar. "Mwahahaha" I declare in slack, prompting a few more colleagues to tilt at my insufferable windmill. It's a 15.74 for Lauren Morton. "Steelseries mouse," writes Lauren, "and for what." It's a 13.85 for Sarah James. A 12.758 for Alan Dexter.
No-one will ever beat me at the Checkbox Olympics!
"9.98 seconds" writes Robin Valentine. "First try too, bet I could get it faster."
"Bullshit" I declare, feeling the blood drain from my ego, "screenshot or it didn't happen."
Reader: he had the screenshot.
You see? Checkbox Olympics is perfect for lightly annoying colleagues, gaining office popularity, and eventually tempting out the one nerd who's going to beat your ass. The best bit is how you graduate from the 100m sprint into the 110m hurdles, which is even more of a challenge but also somehow feels amusingly like executing hurdle jumps with your mouse.
Phil Savage arrived late to the party, then said "I refuse to participate on this office PC with its messed up DPI settings," which is probably the most PC Gamer thing he could've said.
"8.973" writes Robin Valentine. On second thoughts, screw the Checkbox Olympics.