Skip to main content
PC Gamer PC Gamer THE GLOBAL AUTHORITY ON PC GAMES
Subscribe
flag of UK
UK
flag of US
US
flag of Canada
Canada
flag of Australia
Australia
PC Gamer Magazine Subscription
PC Gamer Magazine Subscription
Why subscribe?
  • Subscribe to the world's #1 PC gaming mag
  • Try a single issue or save on a subscription
  • Issues delivered straight to your door or device
From$10.99
View
  • News
  • Reviews
  • Hardware
  • Best Of
  • Magazine
  • The Top 100
  • Forum
  • More
    • PCGaming Show
    • Podcasts
    • Coupons
    • Newsletter SignUp
    • Community Guidelines
    • Affiliate Links
    • Meet the team
    • About PC Gamer
Popular
  • Diablo 4
  • PC Gaming Show 2023
  • Total War: Pharaoh
  • Boltgun
  • June showcases

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

  1. Home
  2. Features
  3. Survival
  4. Ark: Survival Evolved

Ark diary: How not to train your dinosaur

By Christopher Livingston
published 21 July 2015

  • Comments
The best laid plans of Sarcosuchus and men

The best laid plans of Sarcosuchus and men

During my first day in Ark: Survival Evolved, I went through the typical newbie paces. I chopped some wood, I punched some birds, I pooped out several large, round turds, and I experienced some Early Access glitches. My goal for day two was to actually accomplish something: tame a dinosaur, build a home, meet other players, perhaps even make myself some trousers so I'm not wandering around in my boxers all the time.

I accomplished one of these things! Here's why I didn't accomplish anything else.

Page 1 of 11
Page 1 of 11
Welcome to the neighbor-thud

Welcome to the neighbor-thud

Meeting people isn't hard in ARK. There's tons of busy servers, and death is so common that spawn points are usually littered with other players. Most times I joined a server, I found myself immediately face-to-face with someone, at which point they'd punch me in the face. Like this person did. She punched me in the face.

Page 2 of 11
Page 2 of 11
A little lie-down

A little lie-down

Being punched unconscious after meeting another person happened to me five times, which also happens to be the exact number of other players I've met in ARK. Two punched me and then killed me, two punched me and then had their pet dinosaurs kill me, and one was at least nice enough to punch me and then simply let me lie there in the dirt until I recovered. All things considered, that's an act of kindness.

Page 3 of 11
Page 3 of 11
Too many cooks

Too many cooks

I don't mind being killed by other players. I'm actually grateful it happens so promptly—it means I don't lose anything by dying because I haven't had enough time to collect anything before dying. Still, I am trying to accomplish something today, so I decide to retreat to the relative safety of single-player for a while. I would really, really like to make myself a pair of pants.

Page 4 of 11
Page 4 of 11
You are likely to be eaten by a raptor.

You are likely to be eaten by a raptor.

As it turns out, single-player isn't much of a picnic either. I spawn into my own private world just as night falls, which doesn't give me enough time to gather the resources to craft a torch. As I stumble around in the dark around for a half-hour, I'm killed repeatedly by various dinosaurs. It feels a lot like multiplayer, only I can't see anything. The screenshots I took are all pitch black, so here's a picture of some bird monster about to kill me the next morning.

Page 5 of 11
Page 5 of 11
Let them eat me

Let them eat me

That's right: sunrise doesn't bring much solace, either. I seem to be suffering from some dinosaur curse. On my first day I met plenty of neutral 'saurs, but today I'm killed by a huge Carno, a small Dilophosaurus, a couple Raptors, an Argentavis, a Megalodon, and at one point I respawn three times in the path of the same single Sarcosuchus, which is like an alligator but way bigger. I know I'm at the bottom of the food chain but it'd be nice if I wasn't the only restaurant in town.

Page 6 of 11
Page 6 of 11
Pants accomplished

Pants accomplished

Eventually, I do begin to make a little progress. I survive for a while and gather resources, enough to make a hat, then a shirt, and finally, some actual pants. I even successfully square off with a Dilophosaurus! As satisfying as it is to do some killing of my own for a change, what I really want to do is make friends with a creature. As I'm still a low-level loser, the only creature I feel comfortable attempting to tame is a Dodo bird.

Page 7 of 11
Page 7 of 11
Spare the rod, spoil the 'saur

Spare the rod, spoil the 'saur

Making friends with animals in ARK works much the same way as it does in real life. Pummel the creature into unconsciousness, and then stuff berries or meat inside it, and ten minutes later, you've got a loyal pal! I bash a Dodo in the face, and put some berries into its unconscious body. It eventually gains consciousness and waddles away. A little confused, I punch it again, but it dies.

Page 8 of 11
Page 8 of 11
Can't beat me love

Can't beat me love

Something seems to be going wrong. I try several more Dodos, with the same results. Although their info screen says they're tamable, there is no actual "taming bar" shown once I've beaten them savagely to sleep and stuffed berries in them. I punch and I punch and these stupid birds still won't love me! Eventually, I dig around in some forums and find that a rare bug disables taming in local games. It even happens when I subdue a Dilo. There should be a taming bar in the menu, but there isn't. Looks like my private game won't result in any dino-friends.

Page 9 of 11
Page 9 of 11
Ice age

Ice age

I log out to verify my game files, as one forum member suggested as a solution, and log back in to find this. Isn't this a nice view of some rocks? For some reason, rejoining my game freezes my camera here, though my actual body is elsewhere. I know this because as I try to move, the camera remains still but an oxygen meter appears and then begins to deplete. Wherever my body is, it's drowning. Oh well, I guess it's nice to not actually be present for one of my deaths.

Page 10 of 11
Page 10 of 11
Glug

Glug

Wrong! Upon dying, ARK is nice enough to teleport me to stare helplessly at my submerged corpse. Forever, as it turns out: it won't even let me respawn. Since players, dinos, and the game itself seem to be aligned against me, I decide to stop here for the time being. I sure hope if I'm ever actually abducted by aliens and dropped on some jungle planet to battle prehistoric monsters, it'll at least be a planet that isn't in Early Access.

Page 11 of 11
Page 11 of 11
  • Comments
Christopher Livingston
Christopher Livingston
Social Links Navigation
Staff Writer

Chris started playing PC games in the 1980s, started writing about them in the early 2000s, and (finally) started getting paid to write about them in the late 2000s. Following a few years as a regular freelancer, PC Gamer hired him in 2014, probably so he'd stop emailing them asking for more work. Chris has a love-hate relationship with survival games and an unhealthy fascination with the inner lives of NPCs. He's also a fan of offbeat simulation games, mods, and ignoring storylines in RPGs so he can make up his own.

More features
Two of the best graphics cards from top down and side on view, on a pastel yellow background

Best graphics cards in 2023: GPUs for every budget

Dragon Age: Inquisition first cutscene of a charcater looking into the sky

There's no greater shame in an RPG than leaving character creation and finding out you're accidentally hideous

Latest
16K TV

Before you even got a chance to try 8K here's the first 110-inch 16K TV

See more latest ►
See comments
Most Popular
The RTX 4060 Ti highlights where the limitations lie with Nvidia's Frame Generation technology

By Dave JamesMay 24, 2023

Destiny 2 Deep Dive secrets and how it works

By Sean MartinMay 24, 2023

How to craft Blood Merlot in V Rising

By Lauren AitkenMay 24, 2023

This Diablo IV-themed PC gear reminded me how much companies love slapping a fan tax onto existing products

By Jorge JimenezMay 24, 2023

How to fish in Destiny 2's Season of the Deep

By Sean MartinMay 24, 2023

How to get Pollen in V Rising

By Lauren AitkenMay 24, 2023

As someone who grew up playing Doom and Quake, Warhammer 40K: Boltgun is like returning home

By Robert JonesMay 24, 2023

How to get Epochal Integration in Destiny 2

By Sean MartinMay 24, 2023

Summer 2023 showcase schedule: Every gaming publisher livestream and Summer Game Fest event

By Lauren MortonMay 23, 2023

How to unlock the Ancestral Forge in V Rising

By Sean MartinMay 23, 2023

F1 Manager 2023 is packed with upgrades, and offers a level of fidelity that rivals Codemasters' F1 series

By Phil IwaniukMay 23, 2023

Load Comments
Recommended
Will Smith finally picked a game to star in, and... it's a free-to-play survival shooter?
Realms of Ruin is a fast, accessible RTS that wants to bring Warhammer's newest setting to PC gamers: 'It's about getting in there and sticking your axe into the guy's face'
  1. The most powerful gaming GPUs and the ones that provide the best bang for your buck.
    1
    Best graphics cards in 2023: GPUs for every budget
  2. 2
    Best gaming chairs in 2023
  3. 3
    Best gaming laptops in 2023: Portable powerhouses
  4. 4
    Best gaming monitors in 2023
  5. 5
    Best gaming headsets in 2023
  1. A burger car racing down a city street in Lego 2K Drive.
    1
    Lego 2K Drive review
  2. 2
    The Lord of the Rings: Gollum review
  3. 3
    AMD Radeon RX 7600
  4. 4
    Warhammer 40,000: Boltgun review
  5. 5
    Nvidia GeForce RTX 4060 Ti

PC Gamer is part of Future US Inc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site.

  • About Us
  • Contact Future's experts
  • Terms and conditions
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies policy
  • Advertise with us
  • Accessibility Statement
  • Careers

© Future US, Inc. Full 7th Floor, 130 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036.