Skip to main content

This free virtual pet lets you make a planet horny with cosmic rays

(Image credit: Blendo Games)

In The Fantastic Four, cosmic rays granted the titular quartet with incredible powers; in PlanetFriend they make everyone extremely horny. The universe really is remarkable. 

Blendo Games' Brendon Chung and Riot's Laura Michet put together this free virtual pet over the course of a couple of months, using the quarantine to build a cute little world for us to play with. All I've achieved with all this extra time is a new moustache, so I'm impressed. 

PlanetFriend puts you in the role of an all-powerful cosmic god, capable of intervening in a planet's development by shooting it with rays that, as well as increasing horniness, can inspire the growth of industry or give the whole world back to nature, with animals rising up to reclaim their kingdom. Alternatively you can just leave it alone, allowing everything to develop organically. 

There's not a whole lot to it, but I've still found myself hypnotised by the reactive little simulation. After the people on my world managed to fight off the animals and build a large industrialised society with arcologies and satellites everywhere, they eventually turned their weapons on each other, turning everything a bit post-apocalyptic. I take no responsibility. 

Despite the terrible fate of my world, I've found it very soothing having it just running away in the background. Choroplethora's chill beats make sure things never get too bleak, even when they're accompanied by the sounds of screaming and death rays. 

You can grab PlanetFriend from Itch for free now. 

Fraser Brown

Fraser is the UK online editor and has actually met The Internet in person. With over a decade of experience, he's been around the block a few times, serving as a freelancer, news editor and prolific reviewer. Strategy games have been a 30-year-long obsession, from tiny RTSs to sprawling political sims, and he never turns down the chance to rave about Total War or Crusader Kings. He's also been known to set up shop in the latest MMO and likes to wind down with an endlessly deep, systemic RPG. These days, when he's not editing, he can usually be found writing features that are 1,000 words too long. He thinks labradoodles are the best dogs but doesn't get to write about them much.