As you know, I can't help but stick weird things in my mouth for the sake of journalism. So when the folks at Blizzard offered to send over something called a Demon "Meat" Shake for a strange marketing campaign for Diablo 4, how could I not subject it to an official PC Gamer taste test?
The Demon "Meat" Shake is a milkshake inspired by everyone's favorite meat-cleaving baddie, the Butcher, the first boss from the original Diablo, who reappears in Diablo IV. As you can see, the Meat shake is made to look like it's comprised of all the gory bits of slain demons our heroes leave behind.
But more importantly, how the hell does it taste?
Once you get over how unsettling it looks and actually take a sip, it turns out to be—surprise!—really quite disgusting. Thankfully there isn't any actual meat in this concoction. Still, the combination of thick gummies immersed in sugary, viscous fluid gives me the feeling that I'm drinking blood and viscera—very sweet blood and viscera, mind you—which I suppose is the point.
It's less of a traditional milkshake and more a really messed-up bubble tea you'd give to someone as a nasty prank because you were mad at them. It also showed up in the office a little warm, which did not help the aftertaste or help make the chunky bits go down smoothly. (It does seem true to the "fresh meat" theme, though.) One tip I got from the PR team before I drank it was not to push the straw all the way down into the brain, and that I should start with the juices on top and work my way down. Sound, yet disturbing advice.
The "shake" was designed by an experimental food lab, Bompas & Parr, who are no strangers to making deliberately bizarre food installations like glow-in-the-dark sushi, the Vomit Vault of London, and a sausage séance. So congrats on understanding the assignment—maybe a little too well, guys.
Even better than the "Meat" Shake was my colleagues' confused, horrified reactions when I forced them to try it. One person described it as trying to drink flan through a straw. Another threatened never to speak to me again. This is the most fun I've had in the office in months.
If you have a high tolerance for sweets and lack a gag reflex, The "Meat" Shake is a silly novelty drink worth the gross factor alone, if you're into that sort of thing.
The Demon "Meat" Shake is part of a social media campaign that enables fans of Diablo and weird drinks in New York City, Los Angeles, and Chicago to have one delivered to their homes on May 19 if, for some reason, they feel the urge to try sucking back one of these things themselves. The instructions on how to do so are on the official Diablo IV Twitter account.
The shakes will be free but are only available in limited quantities (1,000 total), so it's first come, first serve for this one-day-only event. The worst-case scenario is that you end up drinking demon brains at 11 am on a weekday like I did, hoping your nutritionist never finds out. (For me, infernal viscera is really more of an apéritif.)
And if you're wondering if this is better than the world's first Crypto energy drink? The answer might surprise you—It is. So. Much. Better.