Thank you, 2009 Toyota Yaris, for saving my ass. It was a Vex Invasion on the moon and they were getting ready to teleport. A Minotaur took me out from behind and the Gatelord wasn't getting the DPS it deserved with me outta the fray. You picked me up and dabbed. I pet a holographic chicken in thanks. Together, we finished the Gatelord, a fairly routine event in Season of the Undying made special by a guardian with a dumb name.
When Destiny 2 (opens in new tab) launched on Battle.net, player names were tied to the account names. I was MrDavenport, probably the most dad I've ever been, a tag I chose only because my usuals were taken, not because I thought it'd follow me around on a billboard chained to my guardian's back. There was no changing it, either. I used up my one free username change in a pivot away from my embarrassing college-era handle.
But Destiny 2 screen names have since been liberated in the transition to Steam. Steam allows users to change their screen name at will, so I've adopted my true name, Games Havingport. Other players are getting way more creative and absurd with theirs. Some named their guardians after memes, others use puns or bizarre imagery to get a laugh, and some don't make any sense at all, which work as their own sort of left-field joke.
Dumb names are so abundant that a new Twitter account, @destiny2names, sprouted up just to serve as a dumb name resource, retweeting images of all the wild, funny guardian handles players are rolling with. I've gathered a few of my favorites from the account below since most of my own have been lost to time. Lesson learned. Don't be like me: Keep the screen capture software rolling for a chance to submit your own, just be sure to check the submission guidelines first.
@destiny2names pic.twitter.com/SroOhAICiwOctober 7, 2019
My favorite guardian naming trend: objects. I've seen IKEA furniture, cars, printer models, something that sounds like the name of a boat. The more specific and mundane, the better.
okay, this one wins everything pic.twitter.com/Pt9TPUxV5rOctober 6, 2019
With the right context, the action feed make magic out of some usernames.
@destiny2names pic.twitter.com/NqPo4KrCWyOctober 7, 2019
More than a joke, some screen names make guardian cosplay even more apparent. Here we have a space wizard dressed as a space truck man.
oh my god @destiny2names pic.twitter.com/CIigdcRXMsOctober 7, 2019
Keep those computers locked. If I didn't work from home, you know I'd be messing with Tim's guardian name on the daily.
.@destiny2names pic.twitter.com/aof8gnPK8jOctober 6, 2019
Custom guardian names can be little stories, too. Opportunities to plant a beautiful image in the mind of passersby.
@destiny2names pic.twitter.com/twrSQQKyZhOctober 5, 2019
I liked this one because Destiny 2 could also be described as a thing intended to make me happy that often makes me very sad.
pic.twitter.com/HytozoCHSYOctober 5, 2019
Imagining an emojis only clan and I'm like :D about it.
@destiny2names pic.twitter.com/YQOt6u172zOctober 7, 2019
Some clever data sniffers found out how to get Destiny symbols into their usernames by digging through the game files to find the Destiny font package, which includes a ton of symbols for guns, subclasses, and all sorts of special icons like, uh, OPTIONS.
A nice stranger compiled all the symbols into a doc and shared it online, so if you want some flair of your own, just copy symbols from this page (opens in new tab) into your Steam username field. They'll look like empty boxes in Steam, but load into Destiny 2 and your work will come to fruition. Behold, my latest: