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Check out the three-hour Witcher musical that's opening soon in Poland

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Geralt, the Witcher, will soon embark on a brand new adventure as the star of a musical theatrical production in the Polish city of Gdynia. And this isn't some rinky-dink daycare project held on a Saturday morning in someone's back yard, either. Eurogamer reports that the production will have up to 51 performers—actors, dancers, and acrobats—on the stage at a time, while a full orchestra provides the music. 

The Google-translated announcement says it's the first musical based on Andrzej Sapkowski's Witcher stories, a claim that I have no problem believing. The show has a three-and-a-half hour running time—one break, so smoke 'em if you got 'em—with 20 performances in total, in November, January, February, March, and May. And it carries an "age preference" of 15+, which means it'd be pretty much a hard-R in North America. 

The promo video feels a little weird—that head on a platter really comes out of nowhere—but it's also very elaborate, which speaks to how seriously the project is being taken. And why not? It's not as though musicals have a long and well-grounded history of being serious entertainment for serious people. They're all about spectacle—drama, conflict, and a little bit of sex—and that's something The Witcher has in spades. 

Cool poster, but needs more bathtub.

Andy Chalk
Andy Chalk

Andy has been gaming on PCs from the very beginning, starting as a youngster with text adventures and primitive action games on a cassette-based TRS80. From there he graduated to the glory days of Sierra Online adventures and Microprose sims, ran a local BBS, learned how to build PCs, and developed a longstanding love of RPGs, immersive sims, and shooters. He began writing videogame news in 2007 for The Escapist and somehow managed to avoid getting fired until 2014, when he joined the storied ranks of PC Gamer. He covers all aspects of the industry, from new game announcements and patch notes to legal disputes, Twitch beefs, esports, and Henry Cavill. Lots of Henry Cavill.