Not zombies. Not terrorists. Not bandits, pirates, helicopters, or mutant helicopters. After dedicating my life to research, I’ve determined that mechs are the most fun thing to shoot in a video game. MechWarrior’s mechs, specifically.
What makes mechs special? They’re voodoo dolls. And piñatas.
Having retired from world-saving heroics, Christopher Livingston is living the simple life in video games by playing a series of down-to-earth simulations. This week he's on vacation-- simulated vacation, of course-- spearfishing, diving for treasure, taking pictures, and occasionally freaking out about ghost pirates and aquatic bats.
Over the past couple months, I've had a number of jobs in these Sim-plicity columns: a rotten tow truck driver, an ineffective police chief, an inept bridge-builder, a confused bus driver, a frustrated lumber-cutter, and an airport firefighter so bad at fighting fires his airport was shut down. There's really only one conclusion to draw from this pattern of failure and incompetence: I deserve a vacation.
I'm taking my break with Depth Hunter: The Spearfishing Simulator, which plunks me into the ocean as a spearfisherwoman. At least I think I'm a woman. It's a first-person simulator, so I can't see myself, but the promotional art for the game shows a woman with purple hair wearing a bikini top. The simulation promises I will "face the difficulties of breath-holding spearfishing, an ancient fishing method", though I don't think the ancient purple-haired bikini-wearing spearfisherwomen had spring-loaded mechanical harpoons.
It's inevitable, I know. Do bears tango in the woods? Is there a party like an S-Club party? Will Call of Duty make money this year? Yes, to all these things. A thousand times YES. $500 million is the day one worldwide sales figure Activision are bandying around today for Black Ops 2.
Hitman: Absolution lead producer, Hakan Abrak promises that there will be a hardcore difficulty level in Absolution and that playing non-violently (except for, you know, the actual targeted murders) is still a viable option. He also hinted at a mysterious multiplayer mode.
Trying to allay hardcore fans' fears in a conversation with Eurogamer, Abrak said, "We appreciate our fans and we know way back from Blood Money, there are YouTube videos of different ways of solving a hit, coming up with very smart ways of doing it the developers probably think of, even. That freedom we really want to have in Absolution as well. "
That trailer for a new MechWarrior game caused a stir among BattleTech fans when it came out, but since then there has been precious little news about the project. Now Blue's News (hat tip: Rock, Paper, Shotgun) has seen some signs of BattleMech-related activity from Piranha Games' Russ Bullock.
In case you haven't gotten your fill of Battlefield 3 beta impressions, VG247 noticed this video from the a user who participated in a match on the 64-player Caspian Border map.
It's very pretty, and I enjoyed how even the player seemed overcome by some of the things he was watching. This is war tourism at its finest: stopping to watch infantry charging down a hill, staring agog at an aerial battle unfolding overhead. Enjoy it while you can. Once the game is released, we won't have time to really stop and smell the cordite.
On last week's podcast master producer, Andy Bauman, asked if I thought StarCraft II was going to feel a bit antiquated after all these years. No way, if anything, the PC is the last bastion for oddballs and old school designs to not only exist, but thrive.
