Oh wow, Final Fantasy 15's Stadia-exclusive minigames are hilariously awful

(Image credit: Square Enix)

It's not a good look when your Google Stadia-exclusive DLC feels like the kind of copyright infringing knock-off games you'd find on the Google Play Store, but that's exactly what Final Fantasy 15's "Crazy Challenges" look like. This set of four minigames was first released several months ago as a bonus for those who bought FF15 on Stadia. But because Google's streaming platform feels dead on arrival, I didn't even know this DLC existed. Now I can't get enough of it.

This is all thanks to Noah on Twitter, who shared several clips of his attempts at beating these Crazy Challenges. Each one feels like it a sub par mod you might find in Final Fantasy 15's Steam Workshop, not official DLC built by Square Enix itself.

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The first of the four challenges is a racing minigame where you try to navigate an obstacle course using the Monster Truck version of the Regalia (the car that Noctis and crew drive). It'd likely be a pretty boring distraction except for the fact that every time Noah hits even the slightest bump his Regalia is sent tumbling through the air. The damn thing can't even turn without tipping over, and the obstacle course is full of areas where you can get stuck with no hope for escape. Watching it is giving me flashbacks to Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.

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The second minigame in the DLC is somehow even worse. This one has you zipping around in the Regalia Type-F flying car trying to pick up as many objects, ranging from tea kettles to enemy soldiers, as you can find scattered on the road before dropping them off at a gas station for points. I especially love what happens when Noctis finally drops off his haul at Cindy's gas station. Everything he scooped up in the Type-F just bounces off the ground—including those poor soldiers.

It's worth it to watch each clip in Noah's Twitter thread because the whole DLC just has a serious "what the hell?" energy about it that I find fascinating. If I had to guess, I'd say that Square Enix struck a deal to create some exclusive content for the Stadia version, but then decided it wouldn't put any effort into it. Considering how poorly the Stadia seems to be doing in the months since its release, I think that was probably the right call.

Still, it's weird to see a company as big and reputable as Square Enix put in such little effort. Even the official page for the Stadia version features an enormous dead YouTube link to what I assume was once a trailer.

Thanks, USgamer.

Steven Messner

With over 7 years of experience with in-depth feature reporting, Steven's mission is to chronicle the fascinating ways that games intersect our lives. Whether it's colossal in-game wars in an MMO, or long-haul truckers who turn to games to protect them from the loneliness of the open road, Steven tries to unearth PC gaming's greatest untold stories. His love of PC gaming started extremely early. Without money to spend, he spent an entire day watching the progress bar on a 25mb download of the Heroes of Might and Magic 2 demo that he then played for at least a hundred hours. It was a good demo.