20 Must-Have Geek Ringtones and Text Message Alerts (And 10 to Avoid!)

Forget the lessons of Tyler Durden. The things you own define who you are. And nothing makes a bigger statement than your cell phone ringtone. Your ringtone gives valuable insight for everyone within earshot about your preferences and personality -- information with which they'll use to judge you (and yes, you're always being judged). You don't want to be the guy sitting in a quiet lecture hall when your phone suddenly starts blasting the latest Fallout Boy single. That tells neighbors that you have poor taste and probably cry yourself to sleep at night. No, you want to be the guy who has Europe's The Final Countdown chime in at opportune moments, letting that cute hipster girl nearby know that yes, you too are a fan of Arrested Development.

For geeks and techies who want to attract like-minded compatriots, we've compiled a list of the top 10 must-have ringtones to own. Any respectable tech/gadget/sci-fi aficionado should have these tones stored on their phones at all times, alternating the chimes in a daily rotation to prevent them from getting stale. We've also included a definitive list of the 10 coolest text-message alert sounds, as well as the most clichéd and obnoxious ringtones and alerts that must be avoided at all cost.

10. Dial-Up Modem Sequence

Retro is in, and there's nothing more old school than the familiar sequence of a dial-up modem. All technies born before 1990 have it memorized by heart, and can duplicate the entire string of beeps and buzzes with their vocal chords. "What's that sound? Oh, it's just the internet calling me."

Download the ringtone here: http://www.mediafire.com/?2zebltdcelz

9. Futurama Theme

Cancelled before it had an opportunity to jump the shark, Futurama is three parts space drama and five parts pure genius. The catchy theme was inspired by a 1967 song called Psyche Rock, and contrary to popular belief, was not written by Danny Elfman. But you knew that, of course.

Download the ringtone here: http://www.mediafire.com/?z0hsjxjrvj4

8. Hiphopopotomas (Flight of the Conchords)

Flight of the Conchords are the epitome of geek cool, and nothing says "I like both offbeat humor and mad beats" like the second verse of Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenocerous.

Download the ringtone here: http://www.mediafire.com/?bmvjzg9wtln

7. Windows 95 Startup Tone

All PC users should recognize this classic arpeggio, which greeted you at the Windows 95 splash screen. This six-second chime ushered in the modern PC computing era, and was appropriately composed by ambient music master Brian Eno.

Download the ringtone here: http://www.mediafire.com/?mymydyuydym

6. R2D2

Before Wall-E strolled into the hearts of moviegoers, R2D2 was the little robot charged with charming a generation of science fiction buffs. As your ringtone, R2D2 becomes your personal co-pilot and starship mechanic. Just don’t tell his life partner, C-3PO.

Download the ringtone here: http://www.mediafire.com/?tzejxwmtxkx

5. TIE Fighter Theme

Who needs shields or life support? TIE fighters are agile and speedy starfighters, powered by large solar panels and armed with rebel-toasting lasers. Use their theme as a ringtone to let Jedi-fanboys know that your loyalty lies with the empire.

Download the ringtone here: http://www.mediafire.com/?2mcgtljvzwe

4. Kill Bill Theme

Sure, Tarantino’s two-part revenge epic would’ve worked better as one long movie (we’re partial to part one), but Kill Bill is packed with enough memorable scenes to fuel its own subset of popular culture. One of our favorites? The tense showdown between Uma Thurman’s Bride and Lucy Liu’s O-Ren Ishii, set this awesome music clip.

Download the ringtone here: http://www.mediafire.com/?b1jfi9xbxzw

3. Ralph WIggum

"I bent my wookie." "My cat's breath smells like cat food." "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!" Classic.

Download the ringtone here: http://www.mediafire.com/?jjbny1elyts

2.Code Monkey (Jonathan Coulton)

This nerd anthem by impresario Jonathan Coulton quickly captured the souls of legions of hard-working, warm-hearted code monkeys everywhere. Coulton, the quintessential geek singer-songwriter, releases his music under the Creative Commons license, and has inspired fan videos, dances, remixes, and even machinima. Show ‘em you’ve got excellent taste and hidden depths!

Download the ringtone here: http://www.mediafire.com/?sffuyphrltm

1. CTU Phone Ring

The distinctive chime that rings on all CTU (Counter Terrorist Unit) telephones is serious business – calls made to CTU are a matter of life and death. Nothing gets between us and Jack Bauer power hour (except maybe ridiculous plot twists).

Download the ringtone here: http://www.mediafire.com/?90dcjinb2mu

Read on for the top 10 text message alerts for geeks!