Fortnite has its own rap scene, and it sure is something

Fortnite is one of the biggest games in the world, and it's also pretty competitive, so it's not really a surprise that a swell of Fortnite rap songs have and are continuing to appear online. With so many egos to inflate, what better way to let everyone know how unstoppable you are at a videogame than through rhyme and verse? 

There are a few clever songs among the bunch, tracks that clearly show off the rapper's grip on poesy and rhythm, sometimes coupled with a backing track that samples and mixes the Fortnite theme well enough to make it club-worthy. A lot of them, however, are quite awful. Let's take a look at some of the best and worst, hand-in-hand. 

XpertThief's Fortnite Rap is probably my favorite, and the backing track that samples the menu theme is to blame. It's not just some generic beat they found in Garageband, but an actual reconfiguration of the a small piece of the game. Doesn't hurt that it's under two minutes long. No frills, just a catchy original beat with lyrics that cover the basics.

Or Daddyphatsnaps who is a bit too hokey with the delivery and production, but manages clever lyrics and a catchy enough chorus. I'd never casually listen to something like this, but it's fun once through just to point to bars that you can relate to. But once you've nodded your head and said huh a few times, it's OK to move on.

I'm big on Chug Jug Banger from Crone Wolf, an ode to the most powerful healing item in Fortnite that doubles as a decent trap song. It could use a Fortnite sample or two, but the beat is imposing enough to make everything Crone Wolf says sound like it matters a whole lot. And hey, clutch Chug Jugs matter. A lot. 

Nate Wins' The Fortnite Rap (ft. MamaBurd) gets the body moving and has a clever line here and there. It's a bit too confident a song for how much it sounds like modern rap in a blender though. "Name a better Fortnite rap," Nate says at the end, which is about as powerful a statement as asking someone to name a better tree than the giant sequoia. Still, "I like my towers with tilt / my base is already built" is a catchy way to sum up how we've all come to see the Tilted Towers. It could do without dissing the owner of those b-cups though, a person that I'm sure has plenty more types than 'Amateur Fortnite Rapper'. 

JT Music and Rockit Gaming put out the Battle Bus Boogie, which is what you get when a terminal boy band dips makes a last ditch effort at rap, and then melds bodies with the house band's brass section. It sounds good for what it is, and considering it's something of an abomination, it's impressive. Like, if a dying horse happened to have lungs punctured such that when it gasped for air the wind whistling through each wound created an almost imperceptible harmony, I'd also be impressed. Horrified, but impressed. 

The Fortnite Rap Battle by NerdOut! ft Ninja, CDNThe3rd, Dakotaz, H2O Delirious is hell on earth. 

Exhibit A:

Killin' me?
You must be mistaken
Because it's your life
That I will be takin' 

Wah wah wah
Now you crying to your mommy
But guess what papi
Now you back in the lobby

To summarize, the Fortnite Rap Battle is lyrically about as bad a song as you could write about Fortnite, except it's performed by a host of popular YouTubers and Twitch streamers, including Ninja. I get that it's all in good fun, but this isn't fun, and it is certainly not good. Anyway, here's the version of the song that repeats for one hour for some reason.

What you see here is just the beginning, too. Imagine legions of 12-year-old boys armed with nothing but their parents' microphones, a Soundcloud account, and strong feelings for Post Malone. We'll spare listing them here, but feel free to wade through the ocean of future regret on your own.