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This Phasmophobia rapper has no right to go this hard

Phasmophobia's sickest MC.
(Image credit: Kinetic Games)

The other day I had to clear out some space on my PC and, as ever, went for old gameplay clips. I found a Phasmophobia one from late last year, at the point where most of my buddies had stopped playing the game and so I was entering random lobbies as a solo player.

One time, in the small hours of the morning, I ran into a group of players I can only describe as a kind of Phasmophobia musical improv. It's probably the greatest bit of 'found footage' I've ever had in a game, and I can't take credit for any of it.

Below is what I can only call the Phasmophobia rap. It's a little faint at first but certainly builds, and apologies in advance for the odd f-bomb. If you have any love for this game it'll crack you up.

The most remarkable thing about this rap is how tailored it is to the game and what's going on. At the start it's about UV lights and the fingerprints they've spotted, before what I'll call the party room reveal and the best use of glowsticks ever in a game. Then you get references to the radio, the EMF reader, and best of all that moment when the beat breaks down and our MC says "What's the temperature!" while lifting a thermometer.

Then the bit where the ghost decides it's had enough of this, and just ups and leaves. The timing on some of this is freakish, but that's why Phasmophobia can be such an amazing experience (and was our co-op game of 2020).

The thing about Phasmophobia is that, once you've played a lot, some players lose all fear of the ghosts and start messing about in a way that ruins the atmosphere. It's just straight-up annoying when one member of your team runs in there shouting the ghost's name, sets off an early hunt, and (most of the time) gets someone else killed. These people clearly have little fear of the ghost: but their Phasmophobia endgame is glorious.

I did manage to find the Steam tags of the randoms who were in this lobby with me, and friend-requested them in order to try and give proper credit: but none has replied. If they do I'll be sure to update this. Otherwise: EU randoms and Phasmophobia's midnight MC, I salute you.

Rich was raised by a Spectrum 48K in the Scottish wilderness, and this early exposure to survival mechanics made him a rooter-out of the finest news truffles, and suspicious of all the soft, civilised Amiga people. These days he mostly plays Counter-Strike and Rocket League, and is good at one of them. He's also the author of a Brief History of Video Games.