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Diary of a Droid Jedi - Star Wars Conquest, part 1

Elated from a productive and non-humiliating training session, I zip over to Concordia. Though careful robotic deduction, I find my target:

And blast his face. For the Moff!

There's an unexpected casuality in the fight, though: Concordia's brave planet administrator rushed to my assistance, and my target stabbed him. Some weird scripting logic holds me responsible, and my relationship with the Empire drops by several points as the administrator dies. Oh well. I'll turn in this quest to Moff, he'll forgive me, and my relation rating with the Empire will bump back up.

Minutes later, Moff's ship intercepts me.


I thought we were buddies—buddies who can have a good laugh when one of them permanently lacerates the other with a vibrosword. What happened to us , man? I totally killed that guy you wanted me to kill without asking any questions… can you at least let me turn in that quest so I can get the EXP and credits? Hmm?

I have to accept reality: my best friend wants to kill me, and he probably has an army of 92 Stormtroopers. I'm forced into a fight on Corellia. Saddle up .

Alright, I think I can do this. There's enough room to maneuver, and only a couple of them are on speeder bikes… as long as I maintain speed I should be able to kite the swarm for awhile, pick some of them off, and whittle it down. Stormtroopers have never been very smart, right? It'll take awhile, but— OH GOD . I immediately get lasered in the chest and fall off my speeder.

A humiliating defeat at the hands of my mentor. But this won't be the end of Darth Motherboard.

Next week on Diary of a Droid Jedi : I embark on the singular goal of stealing Grand Moff Tarkin's teeth. Also, bar fights!

Raised by a Team Fortress Classic clan, Evan can only communicate using multiplayer FPS jargon, sort of like that Star Trek: TNG "Darmok" episode. 2fort, when the walls fell...