April Fools' round-up: the year's best (completely fake) announcements
With Goat Simulator out in just a few hours, it feels like the year's biggest April Fool's joke has been months in the making. While no-one else has gone as far as making a real game, plenty are joining in on the jovial japes of this most news-unfriendly of days.
Here's your round-up of PC gaming's best April Fool's announcements: from the continuation of Blizzard's now serial acronym, to the unexpected return of Phil Fish.
Outcasts: Vengeance of the Vanquished
"They’re underdogs. Also-rans. Some, the punching bags for the so-called “good guys.” But now, their days of being pushed around are over; the misfits are taking control."
Blizzard are veterans at self-deprecation, and so it is here with Vengeance of the Vanquished. Their 'upcoming' fighting game features a roster of rotters, and the announcement post contains many great in-jokes and parodies. "You could use the matchmaker to find an opponent of equal skill, but where’s the fun in that? For the right price, the Outcast Matchmaker will put you in the ring with an opponent who has zero chance against your skills."
Herald of the Stars
"One thing that has unexpectedly come to our attention is our audience’s love for the acronym HotS. With recent successful titles Heart of the Swarm, Heroes of the Storm, and Hearth (of the) Stone, we took notice of players’ absolute love for this particular string of letters."
Path of Exile goes Pay to Win
"We're always looking for ways to improve Path of Exile's monetisation so that we can bring you more content more quickly," write Grinding Gear Games. "Thankfully, microtransaction design was a very heavily discussed topic at the Game Developers Conference in March. We asked many highly successful developers how we should improve our monetisation, and their answer was unanimous: allow players to Pay to Win."
I'm alternating wildly between laughing and being a little bit sick in my mouth.
Arma 3: Karts
"Bring the battle to the race track in the adrenaline-fueled Karts DLC pack for Arma 3™," write Bohemia Interactive. "Featuring the most skill-based discipline in motorsport, Arma 3™ Karts lets you experience the intense thrill of open-wheel racing, while you burn rubber on some of the most iconic licensed circuits on Altis ... This is where rivalries are born; this is where the world’s greatest go head-to-head. This is Arma 3™ Karts."
Bonus points for taking the piss out of that Volvo advert. And goats.
You know how every year there's that one April Fool's joke that makes you think "yeah, I'd probably buy that"? Yup.
League of Legends: Ultra Rapid Fire
One of the big problems with lane-pushing games is that so much of your time is spent not firing giant, powerful spells at your enemy. Finally, Riot have fixed their game by removing mana and energy costs, reducing cooldowns and buffing the ranged attack speed. Even better, this is an actually real thing that you can play.
Guild Wars 2
Big heads = big fun. You cannot argue with these equations.
Just look at all this fun:
And yes, if you were wondering. World vs World is ridiculous right now.
That's your lot for now, but if anything particularly inventive has emerged, we'll update as necessary...
im back! FEZ II is back on!
— PHIL FISH (@PHIL_FISH) April 1, 2014
*Drops to knees, raises fists to the air* FIIIIIIIIIIISH!