Is Halo serious, majestic sci-fi? The monks chanting on its title screen and space ships with names like Pillar of Autumn say yes. Is Halo also incredibly goofy? Bunny hopping around a map called Beaver Creek says yes, indeed. Halo's developers had a knack for naming things. There are so many standout names in Halo, particularly among its ships and campaign missions, that we decided to list the very best of them. And then we got carried away and decided to just rank them all.
There are a lot of things in Halo with names. Basically everything has a name, it turns out. Using the criteria of "trying to include more things will make us cry," we chose to rank the following things:
- Every campaign mission from Halo 1-5
- Ships and vehicles that appeared in Halo 1-5
- Every multiplayer map from Halo 1-5
- The Covenant
- AI and titles, e.g. The Arbiter
This rigorous selection process excludes weapon names, because frankly the human weapons are a mess of slightly varied designations that are all very boring (shout-out to the Needler and the Needler only, which would have otherwise ranked #27). It also excludes some more random objects and equipment (Man Cannons would be Top 10 material) and the Promethean enemies from Halo 4-5 because we forgot about them, and to be honest their names are all pretty boring.
The process of ranking these names followed a derivative of the Scientific Method called the Cool Method: We spent about an hour and a half in a video chat saying things like "Meridian Station sounds cool, but is it cooler than Winter Contingency?" and "is Backwash a terrible name, or an incredible name?" and eventually the order was perfected.
Here are 225 names of things from Halo, in order from coolest to least cool.
- In Amber Clad - Among Halo's many majestic ship names, none is as wondrous, as regal, as this. The sheer chutzpah to use 'clad' in a name and pull it off
- The Silent Cartographer
- Pillar of Autumn
- Blood Gulch - Now this is a place where killing is done
- Long Night of Solace
- Hang 'Em High
- Halo (construct)
- Zanzibar
- Foe Hammer - No one else in Halo has a call-sign because this one was too good
- Forward Unto Dawn
- Cortana
- 343 Guilty Spark - There has never been a better name for a prissy robot
- Ascendant Justice
- High Charity - The Prophets are space televangelists, so this ship name is almost too real
- 2401 Penitent Tangent
- The Gravemind
- Say My Name
- Beaver Creek - Surely an inside joke that somehow shipped
- Truth and Reconciliation
- The Arbiter
- Coagulation
- Two Betrayals
- Mantis
- The Pit
- Shadow of Intent
- Winter Contingency
- Gungoose - You can't have a bad time on a gungoose
- Warthog
- Banshee
- Danger Canyon - Sounds like a Dukes of Hazzard location, so bonus cool points here
- Reclaimer
- Swords of Sanghelios
- Seraph
- The Maw
- Sierra 117
- Kikowani Station
- Battle of Sunaion
- Noble Actual
- Spirit of Fire
- Meridian Station
- Assault on the Control Room - If Halo were a '70s pulp sci-fi movie, this would be the title
- Boarding Action
- Ghost
- Jackals
- Grunts
- Mongoose
- Tsavo Highway
- Longbow
- Prophets
- Brutes
- Song of the East
- Feeling Lucky - Captain "Dirty" Harry Callahan
- Shatter
- Forerunners
- Mombasa Streets
- Elites
- Hunters - If you think about it, they don't really hunt shit
- Drones
- Engineers
- Glassed - Such an evocative way to describe the mass slaughter of an entire planet
- Backwash
- New Alexandria
- The Great Journey
- Perdition
- Ivory Tower
- Tayari Plaza
- Turf - Comma, beefin' over
- Rat's Nest
- High Ground
- Cold Storage
- Last Resort
- Halo (Halo 3 mission)
- Epitaph
- Sand Trap
- Sacred Icon
- Pelican
- Lone Wolf
- The Ark
- Chill Out - *bong rip*
- Floodgate
- Elongation
- ONI: Sword Base
- Damnation
- Indulgence of Conviction
- Cairo Station
- Relic
- Tombstone
- Heretic
- Pious Inquisitor
- Revenant
- Chopper
- Sabre
- Chiron TL-34 - George Lucas wannabee
- The Didact
- Sanctuary
- Prepare To Drop
- The Storm
- Headlong
- Warlock
- Lich
- Song of Retribution
- The Breaking
- Delta Halo
- The Covenant
- Ascension
- Longest - Longest WHAT??
- Kizingo Boulevard
- Composer
- Burial Mounds
- Warlord
- Zenith
- Scarab
- Longshore
- Day of Jubilation
- Nightfall
- Wraith
- Pitfall
- The Heretic
- The Oracle
- Seeker of Truth
- Halo (Halo 1 mission) - Naming the second mission in the game after the name of the game? Too soon!
- Falcon
- Blue Team - Bonus points if you've read like 10 Halo novels
- Regret
- Impact
- Exile
- Arrival
- Haven
- Harvest
- Construct
- Foundry
- Guardians
- Guardian
- Daybreak
- Orbital
- Erosion
- Colossus
- Standoff
- Landfall
- Isolation
- Lockout
- Blackout
- ONI Alpha Site
- Wizard - Dropped 50 spots cuz Destiny
- Desolation
- Uprising
- Enemy Lines
- Bloodline
- Meltdown
- Containment
- Before the Storm
- Vortex
- Stonetown
- Solemn Penance - This ship just sounds like a bummer
- Tip of the Spear
- Crow's Nest
- Sandbox
- Foundation
- Midship
- The Library
- Complex
- Citadel
- Osiris
- Requiem
- Narrows
- Scorpion
- Dawn
- Phantom
- Genesis
- Uplift Reserve
- Terminal
- Shadow
- Valhalla - A great map but Odin deserves the naming credit here
- Ragnarok
- Uplift
- Adrift
- Prowler
- Prisoner
- Spirit
- Avalanche
- Abandon
- Ravine
- Quarantine - Weird this doesn't look like my house
- Phaeton
- Gemini
- Solace
- Midnight
- NMPD HQ
- Timberland
- Wreckage
- Rat Race
- The Package
- Sidewinder
- The Armory
- Exodus
- Derelict
- Skyline
- Lockdown
- Coastal Highway - Couldn't even bother to name it
- Elephant
- Mammoth - Compared to the warthog, this is ultimately bland
- Broadsword
- Longsword
- Infinity - From Pillar of Autumn to this?
- Shutdown
- Reunion
- Evacuation
- Unconfirmed
- Outskirts
- Metropolis
- Hornet
- Shrine
- Wasp
- Vertigo
- Battle Creek
- Ice Fields
- Alliance
- Assembly
- Snowbound
- District
- Forge Island
- Waterworks - This ain't Monopoly
- Death Island - Did a five-year-old name this map?
- Unyielding Hierophant - The tryhard parody version of Covenant ship names
- Gephyrophobia - An unpronounceable multiplayer map. Truly shameful
