The Hunter

Sim-plicity: I am a failed turkey assassin

Christopher Livingston at

Having retired from world-saving heroics, Christopher Livingston is living the simple life in video games by playing a series of down-to-earth simulations. This week he’s following footprints and examining poop in an effort to hunt the wiliest and most elusive creature on earth: the turkey.

Remember that scene near the beginning of Jurassic Park where a kid says a velociraptor skeleton looks like a giant turkey? And Dr. Grant says that raptors are pack hunters, and explains how one raptor distracts you while two of them attack you from the side? And then he shames and belittles the kid in front of everybody by pretending to disembowel him? And we all laugh, because the kid deserves to be humiliated for daring to express his opinion to someone older and more educated than him?

Well, we all owe that kid an apology, because he was RIGHT. Turkeys and velociraptors are one and the same. Trust me, I know. I've been hunting turkeys all day.

The Hunter: swapping lead for light

Tim Stone at

It was around a fortnight ago that I realised something had changed. Kills in online deer-stalking sim The Hunter that had once made my heart sing and my breast swell had begun to feel flat, pointless, cruel even. I was enjoying strolling through the dappled glades and searching for the skittish stags as much as ever, but the actual act of slaying – the moment of squeezing – the trigger and watching the quarry crumple - had lost its magic.

The solution came to me during a stroll through a real dappled glade: I’d put my guns in the ground. I’d trade my Remington for a Nikon!