Ask the person nearest to you how they feel about goats. It is unlikely they will say they hate goats, because humankind tends to look fondly on goatkind. Sometimes it feels like there are too few goats though, and that’s where video games and charity come into the equation: by donating to goat-themed charity Heifer International, you will not only contribute a real life goat to farmers in need, but you will also receive two goat-themed computer games for your efforts.
One of the worst things that could happen in Goat Simulator is for there to be too few goats. The new Goat Simulator 1.1 update will preemptively strike against this terror with the promise that new goats will be added. There is a reason you are playing Goat Simulator after all: you want to be around goats.
From a design perspective, elaborating on Goat Simulator's features seems impossible. It has everything: goats; tongue-based physics; big, pretty score numbers; goats; a reckless disregard for property value. Still, Coffee Stain isn't yet done with the glory of goat, as a free 1.1 update hits June 3 with a new map, wall running, and local multiplayer support. From the recesses of the "just because" portion of the team's crazy minds comes another addition to the incoming patch: Minecraft—with goats.
If games are art, then what is Goat Simulator? Finger painting maybe. Or an abstract treatise on the futility of perfection. Whatever the analogy, it's about to get bigger. A free update is adding a new map, new goats, wall-running and four-player split-screen. Now, Coffee Stain Studios have announced that this extra goat action will be made available on June 3rd.
Earlier this month, Coffee Stain Studios made the case for giving their customers free DLC. Now the goat experts are doing exactly that in the first big patch for Goat Simulator. On its blog, Coffee Stain has detailed what the free DLC will include. Are you ready for goat parkour?
As consumers, we’d prefer to get content updates for free rather than pay for them. Yesterday, Coffee Stain Studios announced that it will patch more content into Goat Simulator for free in May, and according to the developer’s game designer and PR manager Armin Ibrisagic, that's not only great for us, but also good for business.
The bad news is that Coffee Stain Studios, developer of Goat Simulator, has announced that it’s not planning to sell any DLC for its not-quite-a-simulation game. The amazing news is that the team plans to add a bunch of free content to the game some time in the middle of May.
If Goat Simulator really was a goat simulator, you'd spend the whole game padding around a field eating grass and occasionally being milked, before ending up on a plate in some upmarket restaurant. But that would make for a rubbish game, so Coffee Stain Studios, the Swedish team behind the Sanctum series, have used artistic licence. Instead, you crash around a physics-enabled world knocking things over, headbutting people, dragging stuff around with your tongue, and generally being a pain in arse for points. Think Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, but with a goat.
Angelina Bellebuono is a photographer and writer living in rural Georgia. She owns 13 goats (including Dolly, pictured above) and has written for publications including Paste Magazine and Georgia Trend. In 2010, she created an interactive photography/writing project called Goatballad: A Pasture Hymn. We asked Angelina to play Goat Simulator and write about her experience with the game as a goat farmer. This is her personal essay.
A friend of a friend refers to me as goat goddess and emails me explaining that I may get a goat question from San Francisco. I live on a five-acre farm in rural Georgia. San Francisco is far away. Are there any goats in San Francisco?
The email arrives. A request: write about Goat Simulator, a new-but-not-so-serious video game.
It's hard not to think that Goat Simulator's ascent from cheese dream inception to being one of the most talked about PC releases of the year owes a lot to just its name. Because you might think, in the same way SimCity theoretically lets you simulate a city (yes, I know), so the name Goat Simulator suggests it will simulate, hopefully in painstaking detail, the life and times of one of the world's lesser loved ungulates.
Every week, the PC Gamer team pick their most and least favourite happenings from the last seven days. Here you'll find the week's soaring highs and stagnant lows, picked from the news, the games we've played, the culture at large. The only thing that's guaranteed is there'll be no neutral opinions.
Bears. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them, because they are as deadly as they are majestic. Bear Simulator, as its title implies, will let you be them, finally. Unlike Coffee Stains Studios’ absurd Goat Simulator, this seems like a more involved simulation of life as part of the ferocious, beautiful Ursiade family.
We're already strongly considering Goat Simulator, Sanctum 2 developer Coffee Stain Studios' physics playground (a goat joke that became real in record time), as our top pick for 2014. It might even lead our Game of the Year Awards. Heck, it's GOATY—Game of All The Years. Before we all lavish it with the accolades a AAA goat game truly deserves, we'll have to wait until April 1 before we can gleefully add Goat Simulator to our Steam libraries.
Last week, Sanctum 2 developers Coffee Stain Studios released "alpha footage" of "Goat Simulator", because jokes. The video's description even contained the warning, "we're just playing around a bit with programming stuff, this is not our next big IP, calm yourselves journalists." But, as Surgeon Simulator 2013's Bossa Studios once learned, comedy sims are a powerful thing. And so it came to pass that, on the 11th of Febuary, Twenty-Fourteen, Coffee Stain did relent, decreeing to all the land that Goat Simulator would move out of experimental alpha and be released on Steam.