bloodrayne

Saturday Crapshoot: The Blair Witch Project

Richard Cobbett at

Every week, Richard Cobbett rolls the dice to bring you an obscure slice of gaming history, from lost gems to weapons grade atrocities. This week... if you go down to the woods today, you'd better go armed to the teeth? Hmm. Wait. Somehow, that doesn't quite sound right...

Love it or hate it, The Blair Witch Project is unquestionably the pinnacle of horror movies in which nothing actually happens. Like trees? Seinfeld? Serial killers? Then this is the film for you. It'd be a great nap movie too, if not for all the shouting. Upon release, it raised many questions, notably "Wait, people actually think this is a true story?" and "If they all died, are those zombies on the talk-show circuit?" and "Didn't they consider just following the river until they made it out and could go buy pie?"

But for some, another, more important question beckoned. "How can we cash in on this?"

This is the story of how they failed.

Saturday Crapshoot: BloodRayne 3

Richard Cobbett at

Every week, Richard Cobbett rolls the dice to bring you an obscure slice of gaming history, from lost gems to weapons grade atrocities. Except this week, because the game decided to play silly buggers. Instead, let's catch up with the latest from everyone's favourite director, Uwe Boll.

BloodRayne 3 is a movie that clearly didn't need to be made. Same goes for BloodRayne 2. The first film though, I can at least see the attraction of the license. Nobody could ever make a good BloodRayne movie, and no matter how much love and money was poured into the project, it would never lead to, say, Dame Judi Dench walking down the red carpet, Oscar in hand, gushing over the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to play the Queen of the Lecher Bitches. You could however make a fun BloodRayne movie - a knowing, confident, trashy action flick that slammed its first reel down on the table and said "Look, it's a hot redhead vampire chick in leather, killing Nazis. You in? Bring popcorn."

So of course, Boll opted to make a historical piece set in the 1700s. Then he did BloodRayne 2 as... a western. Only now does he turn his attention to the horrors of the Third Reich, as seen in the original game. Can this change be shot in the arm the series needs? You may be surprised!