Metal Gear Solid porn parody has the most predictable name possible

Brazzers, the folks that recently stepped up their gaming parody output with an Overwatch porn ripoff, are back with something, well, even more obvious: Metal Rear Solid: The Phantom Peen. Finally, a porn film designed to satisfy those of us with a very specific fetish for consensual fulton-play. 

Check out the trailer above for a mostly safe-for-work (depending on where you work) trailer featuring decent cosplay, awful acting, and terrible dialogue (what did you expect?). See below for a sample of the dialogue excellence on offer. 

The most striking thing about the trailer is its attention to reproducing details of MGS. The codec sequences look like codec sequences, the tiny UI frills like the orange triangle denoting tagged enemies are there, and the world map even reflects the actual interface from The Phantom Pain. That said, I'm not sure whether I'd press pause in the middle of a sit down with The Phantom Peen to prep a scathing indictment of its numerous inaccuracies. Priorities, you know? It just looks like someone on the crew is actually a real fan of the series. So I guess there's that.

While we won't be reviewing The Phantom Peen in the coming days (unless Tim decrees a change of editorial plan), but The Phantom Pain was our Game of the Year back in 2015. If any of that greatness rubbed off on the porn parody, perhaps one of you will let us know.

James Davenport

James is stuck in an endless loop, playing the Dark Souls games on repeat until Elden Ring and Silksong set him free. He's a truffle pig for indie horror and weird FPS games too, seeking out games that actively hurt to play. Otherwise he's wandering Austin, identifying mushrooms and doodling grackles.