An alert in my email inbox: new Farming Simulator 15 screenshots! Almost without thinking, I move the mouse towards the delete button. But then I pause... No. You know what? We are going to do this. In a world now full of wacky non-sims, we are going to instead give time to the game that earnestly and wholeheartedly wants to simulate the experience of driving and operating farm equipment.
We are going to look at—nay, celebrate—some Farming Simulator 15 screenshots, and by Jove we're going to do it unironically.
Tractors! They're heavy, slow, and useful for the day-to-day business of farming. They aren't silly , they're not powered by jetpacks, and they certainly don't subvert physics in humorous ways. Not intentionally, at least. Sim games can be pretty janky.
A combine harvester! I live in Somerset now, which means I've drunk cider while a Wurzels tribute band played I've Got A Brand New Combine Harvester. It was awful. Farming Simulator 15 has a Nordic setting and is a serious game. As such, it probably won't make any reference to the Wurzels.
Logging! That's one of the things new to this version, as revealed via this video teaser.
I'm just going to quote a chunk of the press release, because it is brilliant in the way it enthuses over the detail of FS15's recreation:
"You can now manage forested areas in the game environment using a range of new vehicles and machines designed specifically for this activity: harvesters, chain saws, chippers and even trailers.
"This additional equipment joins the long list of agricultural machinery that has been faithfully reproduced from the originals made by famous manufacturers such as Case IH, Deutz-Fahr and Lamborghini that are ready to be put to work. More prestigious brands in the sector are also available; New Holland and Ponsse among others!"
Prestigious brands! I'm venturing close to ironic enjoyment territory again, but then, I haven't played a Farming Simulator before. But, thanks to my experiences with Euro Truck Simulator 2, I'm well aware of how genuinely entertaining the best real simulators can be—in part because of their insane detail and passion for the subject.
Farming Simulator 15 is out on PC this October.