Crusader Kings Chronicle, part 5: 1112-1128

T.J. Hafer at


Infant King of England put to death by Irish royal conspiracy

King Brian is a great and honorable leader who loves babies and puppies

5 April, 1114: The Leinster army regroups and sneaks past the advancing royalists to besiege Ath Cliath in Dublin. King Brian is confident that the defenders will hold, and orders his armies to storm Domnall's fortress at Leighlin and take the rebel lord alive immediately.

May 17, 1114: King Brian's first daughter by Thorborg is born. She is named Máiread, after the Warrior Maiden.

478 men are lost assaulting the heavy defenses at Leighlin, but the castle is taken and the remaining 800 royalists march north to deal with the besiegers at Dublin.

July 5, 1114: The remaining rebels are routed at the Battle of St. Brigit.

August 20, 1114: The infant King Magnus III is smothered by one of his maids, but she claims under duress (which is known to produce unreliable results) that she was put up to it by co-conspirators of the throne of Ireland before she is put to death.

She said what? Maids, am I right? Always making up preposterous tales. What can you do, huh? Hang on, now most of England actually believes I was involved? Because of a hammered buffoon and a peasant? Jeez, those guys are gullible. I should open up a bridge-selling business over there. No, this isn't nervous babbling. Just trying to make small talk, get off my back, okay? Heh heh. Heh...

So, to change the subject completely, the King of England is now Grim I, one of Magnus' cousins. His claim is weak enough that any trueborn sons of Thorborg would be able to contest his rule openly. It's almost like I planned it that way.

I said ALMOST.

December 10, 1114: Ferns, the last rebel stronghold in Leinster, falls to the royalists.

December 27, 1114: Earl Domnall of Leinster surrenders. Donnchad of Ossory becomes Duke of Leinster, and all the lands of Ireland are finally unified under the 67-year-old King Brian.

And thus ends this epic tale of...

No, I'm just kidding. As monumental an achievement as this was, there's still Emperor status up for grabs. Time to get my chancellor fabricating some claims on the Isle of Man.

January 15, 1115: King Brian elects to hold a Grand Tournament to celebrate the unification.

This will cost me a mountain of gold, give me back a mountain of prestige, and can only happen once during each monarch's reign.