Spade-related violence in Fallout 3: Point Lookout
“Aww, mah eye!” wails a melt-faced mutant hick as I spang him in the face with a spade. I spang him with the spade again, but he makes no further comment. This is a magic spade, and by ‘magic’ I mean ‘covered in shit’. The stated explanation for the +3 damage is that it’s been used for years as a fertiliser shovel.
“Welcome to Point Lookout, bitch.” I would have said, except that he lives here and I don’t, and he died from feces poisoning before I could say it.
It may not be time to panic about Good Old Games
At the weekend, the home page of beloved DRM-free classic games shop Good Old Games went down. It was replaced by a sober message saying that “unfortunately, we’ve decided that GOG.com simply cannot remain in its current form” and that “Working on GOG.com was a great adventure for all of us”. But on the forums of a Polish financial website, someone posting as the head of parent company CD Projekt says (in Polish):
“Note, the date of the conference is probably 22nd, early Wednesday evening. Information about this soon on GOG.com (please do not panic after reading the information contained there:)”
Intel selling $50 codes to unlock parts of your CPU
According to Engadget (whose source also provided this image), Intel are selling “upgrade cards” that let you download a code or a piece of software that unlocks unused processing power in your Intel CPU. It’s like day one DLC for processor chips. You may now open the envelope marked “Rage!?”.
The ten best PC game intros
We lead busy lives. We humans can no longer be expected to trawl through endless exposition, reams of scene-setting text, hours of tedious tutorials. No, sirry: we demand instant excitement. If the intro’s no cop, it ain’t worth playing. So here’s a roundup of the best intros in the history of PC gaming – choose these, and you’ll make sure you won’t end up asleep at the keyboard before the first big ‘splode.
Minecraft is temporarily free
Minecraft is a little indie balloon swelling with popularity and success, and it just burst. The main server buckled under the weight of purchases, updates, and user verifications, and Notch has suspended all of those functions to get the game working again. Which means he’s made it free, for a while.
How to take superb screenshots
Long after the battle is over and the credits have rolled, the memories of saving the world still linger. Make them even better with our guide to building up a collection of great gaming snaps and videos.
Crap Shoot: Wrecked: A Psychedelic Adventure
Richard Cobbett gets high just thinking about one of the silliest edutainment games in the history of mankind. Remember: winners don’t play Wrecked. They’re too busy snorting coke off hookers.
Wrecked actually exists. This is important. This isn’t a joke post. It’s not a game we made up. It’s not some dodgy Newgrounds thing. It appeared on a PC Zone (RIP) coverdisk back in the 90s, and promptly became one of the rarest, most sought-after PC games in history – not because it’s any good, it’s really not, but just so those of us who remembered it could convince the world it wasn’t a dream. Wrecked. An edutainment platform game about the dangers of drugs. This isn’t just a Crap Shoot. This is Vindication.
PC Gamer US podcast 240 – Phalanx vs. Tank
This week, Dan, Evan, Andy, Chris and Mike the Intern chat about Blizzard’s brutal retribution to players that manipulate StarCraft II’s multiplayer. In the meantime, be on the lookout for these shady opponents in your StarCraft matches–hackers spotted by the fine folks at TeamLiquid.net. Dan also gives us a crash course on Civilization V (grab the review in our current issue off newsstands) before it releases this Tuesday.
Interview: CoD’s military advisor versus 12-year-old boys
During this year’s Gamescom, I took a moment to sit down with Hank Keirsey, the military advisor to the Call of Duty series. “I’d offer you some whiskey, but it turns out they don’t have any,” was the first thing he said. After that, he talked about the ethical issues and educational benefit of the Call of Duty series, how going to war hurts your gaming skills, what he’d like to do to the twelve-year-old kids who defeat him online, and what he thinks of Activision’s firing of Infinity Ward’s bosses.
Half Life 2 CGI fan movie teaser trailer is stunning
This is actually a teaser trailer for an upcoming teaser trailer for a fictional CGI movie telling the story of Half-Life and Half-Life 2. So a trailer for a bigger trailer – he isn’t making an actual movie, you understand. That said, it’s stunning. Embedded below:
Reminder: there was a Doom comic, and it was hilarious
Three years after the game itself, there was a comic of Doom. Wouldn’t that just be panel after panel of a guy shooting some demons you ask, coming scarily close to the truth? Yes. What the comic actually adds to the unthinking carnage is not plot, but a constant and inspired stream of consciousness monologue bellowed by the deranged hero Doomguy. Classic lines include, “Allow me to communicate my desire to have your guns!” and “Rip and tear your guts! You are huge! That means you have huge guts! Rip and tear!” Some choice panels, and a link.
New League of Legends “Magma Chamber” map
Riot Games have announced a new 5v5 map for League of Legends: Magma Chamber. It’s set inside a dormant volcano, with teleport platforms, magma for days, and a host of new minions that give mega buffs when you drop them. Here’s a massive piece of concept art:
Rumour: Epic Games might buy APB
Epic Games have been highlighted as potential buyers for APB, the massively multiplayer shooter from recently bankrupt Dundee studio Realtime Worlds. APB was built upon Epic’s Unreal engine, and their Vice President and co-founder Mark Rein even helped present APB at 2009′s Penny Arcade Expo. When asked if Epic had plans to buy APB, spokesperson Dana Cowley didn’t say no. Her quote’s below.
APB to close tomorrow
Cops vs crooks MMO APB is officially closing, as reported by our occasional drinking buddy, EDGE* and confirmed by APB’s official announcement. It’s garnished by a broad swathe of bittersweet quotes from the development team. Here’s the initial announcement:
“APB has been a fantastic journey, but unfortunately that journey has come to a premature end. Today we are sad to announce that despite everyone’s best efforts to keep the service running; APB is coming to a close. It’s been a pleasure working on APB and with all its players. Together we were building an absolutely amazing game, and for that, we thank you. You guys are awesome!
From all of the Realtime World staff we thank you for your continued support.
The servers are still up, so join the party and say goodbye!
- Ben ‘APBMonkey’ Bateman (Community Officer)”
[via Edge]
*He mostly refers to himself in the third person.
Battlefield: Bad Company 2 Vietnam gets exploding trees
Do you like getting shot at by trees while trying to look like a tree? How about getting existential in a jungle? Do you like helicopters? Here’s a new trailer for Battlefield: Bad Company 2′s Vietnam expansion pack, which contains all of these things.
